I wake up every morning longing to be an encouragement and a witness to others. This longing has become a part of me.
It wasn’t always that way.
My former self was what you would call a people hater. I felt justified in hating people, children especially. Oh I hated kids! I hated being around them, I hated their meanness and their selfishness (rolls her eyes at her own selfishness) I was a hater.
Looking back on it I can see it as
sin a protective device. I was, and still am, very sensitive to people’s emotions and feelings towards me and others. I can usually read people really well; sometimes TOO well. I’ve come to realize that that is part of the spiritual gifts of knowing and compassion. God develops sensitivity in these gift areas because he calls those so gifted to live a life of prayer, and to live the life of a prayer warrior it is necessary to be sensitive to what is going on with other people.
I think I’ve already started to make my point for me…only Jesus and his work on the cross can make a hater become a lover. Don’t get me wrong, I still experience those feelings of hate…that’s part of that “old outer man.” But now I recognize it, confess it, and as the Holy Spirit draws me to repentance and the emptying of me of me, He fills me with His love and compassion for others.
Some days I actually stand back in
uncomfortable shock and just watch Him cry out through me for others. Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn’t do it. I am would be a hater. It has to be Christ living in me.
Oh, and did I mention that God took that hate for children and turned it 180 degrees around? One of my favorite vocations was working in a Christian preschool and witnessing to those precious little souls about the astounding love of an amazing God who would send HIS only Son to die for us! Now I die to self to bless (instead of hate) every ‘little child’ He puts in my path.
Oh, and just a reminder…a lot of Christians are wrongly accused of being haters by gays and abortion rights activists. Just remember Jesus was accused of being a hater by ignorant unbelievers, too.
Father God…I am so glad that the Rock is breaking me. May your word dwell richly in me so that I may continue to grow in love towards others. Make me a lover not a hater. In Jesus name, Amen