I have a list of ideas for my blog/devotion to choose from to write about today. The Holy Spirit points out many spiritual insights in everyday situations, and when He does, I jot down on my list a key word to bring to mind when I actually sit down to write about it. Most of the topics on that list are comfortable, but there is one that the Holy Spirit brought to mind yesterday twice, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable inside,
and that’s why but I’m going to write about it because it was too much of a God-coincidence to not share. I also believe there is more that Jesus wants me to learn about this, so if anyone has anything to share on this topic please do.
It’s about failure.
I have a fear of failure. It comes out most when I am put in a performance position. It has sometimes crippled me emotionally. I have what the psychologists label “performance anxiety.” One example of this is several years ago I was in Sweet Adelines and I was asked to chair their annual show. This is their ‘big thing’ of the year. I was okay up to about 2 weeks before the show and then I was broad-sided by this crippling fear of failure. It came at me out of no where. I was panic stricken and was having a hard time coping. I felt like I was floundering in this vast lake of disappointment, expectations, and failure. I was swamped. I had to get help and I did. Thank God.
Well, yesterday I overheard my sister ( both of us have struggled with weight issues over the years even though our 4 brothers are skinny as nails!) tell my Dad that she had gained back all the weight she had recently lost. I am shocked and ashamed to say that it was at that point I sensed a relief inside of me. It kind of washed over the insides of my body. I recognized that I was relieved that she had failed (or at least I recognize that is part of what it was.) Upon this recognition I repented knowing it was sin inside me. “Jesus, I am such a sinner. Help me.” Now the God-instance came later in the day when I was watching TV and a fishing show promo commercial came on. There were 3 or 4 men sitting around talking about fishing and how they always hear stories from people about the one that got away…then they cut to two of the men on a fishing boat. One of the men had a fish hooked on his line and it was bending his fishing pole. All of a sudden his fishing pole went slack and you could tell he had lost the fish. He spoke to his friend and said, “People love it when you fail.” The Holy Spirit perked up my ears at that moment to hear him say that, and I immediately was transported back earlier in the day to the moment I felt that way about what my sister had said. I recognized that same feeling when I saw his fishing pole go slack. This fishing guy was right. I was relieved to see that he had failed.
Later that night my husband and I were discussing God’s revelation on this and what it might mean. We came to the conclusion that as human’s we fail. We are destined to fail. The curse that God put on this world in the garden when Adam and Ever disobeyed Him will have it no other way. I think that when we see someone else fail not only is it sin in us that rejoices at their failure, I think it is also a deep-seated sense of relief that we are not alone. Every one else fails too. (Do you sense it….that feeling of relief?)
This verse comes to mind right now, “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Isn’t God wonderful! This may sound crazy, but what if He had permitted some people to remain perfect? Can you even imagine having to live life next to a perfect person all the time? Can you imagine life without Jesus? Isn’t it wonderful that God has given His children this revelation that everyone falls short? There is no one who is perfect, no not one! Only a True Father would reveal that truth to Children He loves. Aaah, the relief.
Paul struggled with this too. In Romans his words are recorded: “I know that God’s standards are spiritual, but I have a corrupt nature, sold as a slave to sin. I don’t realize what I’m doing. I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate. I don’t do what I want to do, but I agree that God’s standards are good. So I am no longer the one who is doing the things I hate, but sin that lives in me is doing them. I know that nothing good lives in me; that is, nothing good lives in my corrupt nature. Although I have the desire to do what is right, I don’t do it. I don’t do the good I want to do. Instead, I do the evil that I don’t want to do. Now, when I do what I don’t want to do, I am no longer the one who is doing it. Sin that lives in me is doing it. So I’ve discovered this truth: Evil is present with me even when I want to do what God’s standards say is good. I take pleasure in God’s standards in my inner being. However, I see a different standard [at work] throughout my body. It is at war with the standards my mind sets and tries to take me captive to sin’s standards which still exist throughout my body. What a miserable person I am! Who will rescue me from my dying body? I thank God that our Lord Jesus Christ rescues me!
This leads us to the
captain obvious solution for failure, Jesus. He is the only one who lived perfectly. He died and He arose for our justification. All who believe in Him will be saved. Saved from their failure. Saved from their sin. That is why He is called Savior; Our Fairest Lord Jesus.
Abba Father, Daddy in Heaven, Faithfulness is more important than perfection. Aaah, the relief. For we know that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion. He will do it! He will not fail! Hallelujah! In Jesus name, Amen.